This is an excerpt from the main blog which I encourage everyone to check out, took from the middle, link below…
First, I wasn’t a virgin when I met my husband and he wasn’t a virgin either– but together, we decided to do something different in our relationship. He was 22 and I was 26 and we had never been in a relationship, Gods way. I grew up not thinking that sex outside of marriage was wrong. I thought it was ok. I attended a church that didn’t teach anything bout fornication and I didn’t even know what the word meant. I called it “fornificantion.” When I was sitting in a bible study, the preacher started to talk about sex outside of marriage and I asked my friend, “wait, that’s WRONG?!” I seriously didn’t know. Thank God that He took the blinders off my eyes.
Would I have waited to have sex until I met my husband if I would have known what I know NOW? Um. YES. I would have avoided silly soul ties or bridges, heartbreak and pain. I left pieces of myself with guys and those relationships tormented me years after we broke up. A piece of myself in California. A piece of myself in Michigan. A piece of myself in New York. I “almost” got married to a couple of those guys so to say that “we plan on being together anyway– we should just have sex” doesn’t make sense either because it was all based in hope with no concrete plan for the future. ” We didn’t have a ring. Even if we did, it wasn’t final until I do.
I struggled while I was single because I felt like I needed to be in a relationship to find value. Then, I learned that I needed a relationship with CHRIST, not with a human to be whole. No man, no job, no woman, no degree or anything else can fill this huge void in my heart that God placed there.
In 2004 while in prayer, I asked the Lord for a man that wouldn’t kiss me until my wedding day. Deep down, I knew that any guy that kissed me after that.. wouldn’t be my husband. Did I still kiss them? Um yes. I didn’t do my part either.. but I wanted a man to lead me. I wanted him to tell me NO, we are going to honor God. I wanted a man that wouldn’t dare pull my clothes off my body until my last name changed to his legally. I wanted a man that HAD A STANDARD. I wanted a man that TRULY loved JESUS. You see, it’s hard for ONE person to have a standard in the relationship but if you guys aren’t walking together & on the same PAGE then one person is going to cause the other person to stumble & fall. Sis, if you don’t want to have sex until you get married and your’e tired of running off men with your standard then make up in your mind that you would rather be single & whole in Jesus than to be dating randoms that are only USING your body & tossing you to the side. I had to MAKE up in my mind in 2008 that I was going to be single for the REST of my life vs. being married to somebody who fit my dysfunction. I made up in my mind that I was going to be SINGLE & content in the LORD until He brought His best. I didn’t want God to bring someone into my life but there was no room for him. That seat next to me needed to be empty. Then, in 2009 the Lord brought my husband to me. I knew within 15 minutes that we were going to get married one day. 12 months later he proposed and 8 months after that we married and kissed for the first time on our wedding day. On our FIRST date, Cornelius told me that he wasn’t going to kiss me until our wedding day. I NEVER told him my desire. That night I laid in my bed with tears in my eyes and asked the Lord.. “God, how did Cornelius know? Lord, you answered my prayers. Thank you for showing me that your way is the best way.”
Can I be honest..
This is the issue sis, so many of us are keeping the seat next to us filled– not with one man, but with about 10-12 men. Stacked up sitting next to you on this chair. That chair is filled with all of your soul bridges and ties and a few rotating men that you rotate out depending on who will text you back. You’ve seem to lost your standard & your way because you don’t think that any man would truly love you the way that Christ loves the church. You’re being hidden sweetheart. You are so beautiful, so purposed, so valued that God has you covered for a season. He’s so jealous for you and He longs for all of you and for your eyes to finally be on Him again. He longs for the attention you give to those sorry men.
I recall prior to meeting my husband I was single and working at a record label. A male co-worker told me that I was a waste of a vagina but he used a more explicit word. Some of the artists would try to talk to me through him and he would share with them that I was “a church girl & a waste.” Did I get mad at him? No. I was actually sad for him. I was sad that he was being used by the enemy to try to discourage me and he had no idea. I grieved for his soul. Although he didn’t know my worth, I knew who I was in Christ and no man on this earth was going to take that away from me. He told me that I was going to be single forever and miserable. I simply smiled and told him that I was praying for him. Why argue? He was ready for a fight and I knew that God could show him much better than I could ever show him.
This point reminds me to ask you this question: WHO are you listening to? If you’re single and trusting God’s timing– why are you letting co-workers, friends, family members & whoever else pressure you to conger up some man? STICK with your standards! Its SO worth it. Don’t rush into a relationship to satisfy a nagging parent. Just stop it. YOU have to wake up to that person everyday, not your family members.
So, onto our wedding day and why it was so worth it.