Before He or She commits Suicide
The best way we can help heal the world is to listen to each other’s story – Rebeccah Falls
Afeez, a young man in his mid twenties climbed to the very top of a 33KV high voltage pylon in his street of Masha area of Lagos,about 2years ago, in a suicide attempt. The residents woke up early in the morning with a rude shock seeing some one in such a dangerous point and height. They beggged him to come down but refused, after a while, he yielded to their plea and got down. Thereafter, the news report reads: ” instead of offering him help, they gave him beating and later on in the evening of that day, he drank a poisonous substance and died”. Sources added that, the youngman has been complaining of some problems lately before his death. Most suicide cases are similar; loneliness in times of personal challenges without anybody’s care or attention. The situation is tougher especially where people barely have enough time for themselves such as in a fast paced city like Lagos.
Though, not every ignored people get to commit suicide, and not all reasons for suicide appear strong enough, but as humans our abilities to contain frustrations vary over a wide range of bandwidth. While some manifest their frustrations in terms of aggression towards others like murder, cussing, jealousy, gossip, and vandalization; others take it on themselves by suicide, drug addiction, alcoholism, and inflicting of self harm. All the above set of people need our attention especially at the formative stage. We all have tolerance rating when it comes to bearing things. Only a few set of people can naturally handle excruciating challenges of life philosophically without letting such get the best of them.
Do you have someone around you who was hitherto a jolly good fellow but is now withdrawn and rarely talks to anyone? Is there a colleague in your office who needs a caring heart and a listening ear to confide in? Don’t get it twisted, even that hard hearted boss of yours may be nursing an emotional sore (pain) and manifesting it with hashness. My colleagues ones caught a young lady who was their boss crying. They never believed tears can drop from the eyes of such a ‘dispassionate’ high flying lady. You can also counsel your Madam or ‘oga at the top’ but diplomatically by winning their confidence, giving them listening ears in spear times, and offering counsels. It might surprise you the depth of loneliness and frustration being suffered by highly placed people. We shouldn’t just assume they don’t have problems. Your brother or sister may be married but living single. It’s no longer news that many married people are not emotionally connected but caged in matrimony. If you have a colleageue in your group in church, college, office, or anywhere that no one cares to relate to please reach out to them. Counselors generally get their own emotional problems solved by solving other peoples own. The more you reach out to others, the more relief you experience. A caveat to this is that your attention, listening ears , and cares should first begin from your base- family and loved ones. Also, am not asking you to be an emotional dump yard or unneccessary pity party. Just play your part. I know some people are reclused and rarely communicate.
When people complain and worry please, give them attention. As a good student, why not look back at a struggling classmate who is making genuine efforts to do well but keeps getting it wrong in his accademics. As a celebrity or boss, a visit to the home of a ‘lowly’ place employee may just be the antedote to their ailment or worries. When a lady is looking real good, please don’t be quiet about it. Let her know how nice she is looking and if you can, commend her appearance in the presence of others. That could wipe out an existing worry in her mind or even make her entire day or week. When people do well, praise them. When their performance is dropping or appraisal result is low, let them know the enormous abilities in them and how they can always better themselves. As a customer service officer or sales person, you win the confidence of people or prospective clients more by how much you listen to them than by how much you persuade them. Be guided! The ancient Greek philosopher, Diogenes wrote: ” man is created with two ears and one mouth so that he can listen twice as much as he speaks”. Even the best performing nurses, doctors, engineers, and managers know the importance of paying (empathetic)attention to client’s complaints and concerns with reasonable attention span.
Have a kingsize Friday and a wonderful weekend. May the amazing grace, boundless love, unspeakable joy, and unfathomable peace of Christ be upon us all and our households…Deo gratias.