THE FIVE(5) STAGES YOU WILL ALWAYS GO THROUGH IN RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE AND HOW TO MANAGE THEM
Whether you are single or married, Christian or non-Christian, there are five stages your relationship or marriage will go through. These stages apply to you either in courtship or marriage.
This is the first stage. I love one particular definition of attraction. It is ‘the gravitational force exerted by one body on another.’
Before you get into a relationship, there should be attraction. It is very necessary no matter how carnal that sounds to some you who are very spiritual!
I don’t believe God will ever force anybody on you. God leads by desires. You should be attracted so that your love for him or her can be ideal. Yes, it is possible God shows you someone you don’t feel attracted to initially, but as you try to listen to God, you will come to discover the treasures in the person and attraction will eventually develop.
But the scenario will never be like God forcing you to marry somebody you hate with a passion! Don’t marry somebody you don’t love because your pastor or one prophet prophesied or saw a vision. You have to love the person in question.
This is the next inevitable stage in relationship or marriage. It happens within courtship or marriage. They have been attracted to each other and they have been passionately in love. But after a while, the novelty of the love begins to wane, logic comes in and commonsense starts to function normally. You begin to see differences and you are beginning to pick quarrels here and there.
The reality is you are meant to be different. You are not supposed to be the same and think the same way. The differences you start seeing is in order.
At this stage, most relationships and even marriages would not always survive it. Those are the times you find yourself hating the one you love out of love, and then you forgive because of love. Those are the times your differences have been so amplified you are concluding you are not meant for each other. The repulsion stage is the time you break up and then come back and then you break up again.
You don’t need to break up over little quarrels that are bound to happen because God already spoke to you. If the issue does not bother on unrepentant character trait, sexual infidelity and violence, you can always resolve. If you successfully pass this stage, your relationship or marriage will survive!
This is also a stage where you need the wisdom and knowledge of God’s word to stabilize your times.
This stage is critical as well. You know he or she is God’s plan for your life. But you don’t like some attitudes. It is not like exactly sins in that sense. He or she is not a wicked person. He or she is not asking and insisting on sex. He or she is not sleeping around with others. He or she is not being violent. He or she loves God. But some attitudes! Things like he would not call regularly. Like she does not trust you and that gets you angry because you have been faithful. Things like he or she gets angry easily.
So this stage, what do you do? You seek to help each other. You pray for each other. Buy materials that address obvious areas of weaknesses. If you do not consciously seek help from mentors and actively work out issues, things can still go awry at this stage. Both of you will know that it is not as if God has not spoken, it is because both of you have been impatient!
Pray for each other and be patient!
The last stage is enjoyment. It is the stage you have finally accepted your spouse or spouse to be, all with strengths and weaknesses. It is the stage you have accommodated your differences. It is the stage where you have decided to work together as one and to stop being immature. It is a time when you are not selfish and you are ready to sacrifice for each other. It is the time you allow agape love to reign in your relationship or marriage.
This is the time you learn to put God’s word first place in your relationship or marriage and you make up your mind to forgive easily because the person in question is your spouse or spouse-to-be.
I pray for you this day, that at whichever stage you are, the wisdom of God will work for you in Jesus name!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Pray that God will give wisdom to manage the stage where you find yourself.
Taken from Love Sex Marriage and the Catholic Church facebook page
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