what marriage is not and the things married people won’t tell singles

Some things the singles cannot see and the married are not telling them.

Posted by Dunamis Tunde Okunowo

We live in a dissatisfied generation. Those who are short in height wished they were taller. The white is tanning their bodies trying to get dark, the blacks are bleaching trying to get white. The young are tinting their hair white, the old are dyeing their hair black. Singles are posing with wedding ring, those married forget to wear it, those with beards are shaving off, those with none are using methylated spirit to grow some! Today, I have a story to tell. Are you ready for it? Here we go. Once upon a time, (time – time), when I was single, I looked forward to
marriage. Now that I am married, I missed the time I was single! End of story!
Singles will hardly believe that because all in their mind is to get married so that everything can change. I have been happily married for fourteen years and here are a few things I have learned that might bless you if you are still single.

1. Marriage will not make you happier. Be happy before marriage. Marriage has no power in itself beyond the two people involved.

2. Marriage will not change you. Change begins inwardly. Marriage is not a change agent. Marriage will not improve your attitudes, it will expose them. Marriage does not eliminate your weaknesses, it will amplify them. Start working on your attitudes and weaknesses before marriage.

3. Marriage will not cure loneliness. There are several married people who have their spouses with them by the second, but are extremely lonely. Loneliness is more of a state of mind than availability of people around you. The loneliest people in the world are sometimes the ones with large number of fans and crowd around them. Only God’s word can cure the root cause of loneliness.

4. Marriage will not take pressures away, it will probably bring more. You have one more life to manage. If you cannot manage yours and you venture into marriage, it will be a disaster. When the children start coming, there will be more pressures. Learn to take pressures head on by casting your care on Jesus and refusing to worry like the scripture advises.

5. Marriage is not all about sex. Ask somebody who is married. Yes, sex is a marital glue, a healing balm in the soul for couples, and a blessing that keeps couples together. But it is not like you think, sex in the morning, afternoon and evening. Average couples actually make love twice or thrice in a week. However, the more frequent it is for married couples, the better for them.

6. Your spouse will not be a magician neither is he the Holy Spirit. He will be a human being with his
own issues. You will always need God. He might be very anointed on the pulpit and filled with God’s glory while she is ministering in the choir, but at home he or she is a human being with all the weaknesses complete. Learn to separate the office or position of your spouse from his or her person at home.

7. Marriage is not all about kisses, flowers, cinemas, cakes, chocolates and vacations alone. It is about cooking, pampers, crying baby, working, paying school fees and so on. It is about budgets, plans, strategies and divine wisdom. It is about submission to your husband who you sometimes think is hard, insensitive and unloving. It is about loving your wife who you sometimes think is stubborn, does not want to be corrected and can nag from morning till next day.

About cknaija

cknaija@twitter.com
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