You can’t be less than a yard material and be looking for more than a yard partner

Funmi Akinyode fb page

hahahahahahahah Funny question right, but seriously how many yards are you. As ladies, we make a long list of our dream man, he must be tall, dark/fair, handsome, rich, be from XY tribe, he must love my family, love me, care for me, love God, his mother must have died (no wonder you are single at 40) and the list goes on and on but chill have you checked yourself if you are the kind of wife this ‘perfect man’ deserves? Are you a wife material? and how many yards are you? Yards in this post represents your Value.

 

As an Economist, i have propounded the Theory of the Yard.

Assumption

1) Every lady is a proposed Wife Material.

2) Yards shall refer to the Value of the material( lady)

3) Every Lady falls into a particular Yard category.

 

0-1/8 Yards: You are Lazy, You sleep all day, cant cook, cant take care of yourself, you smell, your clothes are all brownish-gold-black, you cant even boil water but my Lord You are beautiful and you might even be the best dresser but you cant care for the home. My Angel your material is just suitable for cleaning poo after defecating.

1/8-1/2 yards- Your only goal is to sleep around with those big men, get an aristo, even go the extra mile (jazz) to get a ‘ Maga’ someone to buy you car, bb porshe, Malaysian 45 inches human hair, rent you a house in banana island, take you to Bahamas, make your name appear on city peoples “lagos big girls’ you don’t even believe there is a supreme being. But you wish to settle someday and have a family. Sweetheart your material cant sew baby pant.

 

1/2- 1 yard- You go to church, you dress up to seduce men married or not married you don’t care, do you even have a bible NO, you sha want everyone to notice you and you don’t mind snatching your aunty’s husband so long as he can care for you and satisfy your sexual desires Voila you are available. My love, your material can only sew Oleku for a one year old.

 

1- 5 yards- you are a christian but all that attracts you in a man is his looks and the depth of his pocket. You are constantly in a competition with your friends for who has the biggest “fish” but you can cook, take care of a man (so long as he is rich and takes care of you) but if a little storm comes, you fly out and get Greener pastures. my darling the maximum your material can sew is buba and soro for a man or senegalese nothing executive meanwhile did i mention that your material is a low class ankara only 10 naira Omo is needed to wash out the colour and beauty.

 

5-10 yards- You are looking for A man that will bow at your feet, do what you want. your career before anyone you are miss independent you don’t care. You don’t want family interference me and my husband alone, You are full of rules, you want to keep your shape not more than one child, showbiz, paparazzi, the ‘perfect” appearance is all you want. you are not ready to be submissive to anyone. Dear Miss Perfect, You might think you have enough yards but 5 yards or even ten yards cant sew Agbada and Iro and buba for you and your husband. Your husband wont be your crown no glory for him, No man wants that. Your material is a lace with lots of holes it may look executive but it is vulnerable to tears from Nails (challenges) and soon it will loose its value.

 

10- 15 yards-You Love God, Obey him Prayerful love family, not vain, can cook well, can wash, iron kneel down for your husband, but you are not ready to work, your husband will buy everything for you, you cant take care of yourself and your kids without “oko mi’s” help, you are above 10 yards your material can sew An executive attire for your husband, but if you don’t take time its only a little that will remain for you and your kids but you may be lucky to get enough for yourself.

 

Above 15 Yards- You love God, beautiful, prayerful, ready to support your man, raise your kids, You step your feet on the ground and the devil shivers, you want a family that God will be proud of, You are willing to let your husband be your crown and head the house, ready to be submissive, you are the Proverbs 31 woman, VIRTUOUS is your name, Honour is what your Husband feels with You, Undeservable is what he considers you, irreplaceable is what you want your kids to see you as. My darling did i say you are above 15 yards oh No! your Yards are immeasurable, your material will sew clothes for generations, inestimable is your value. (you are an exception to the assumptions you are invaluable)

 

 

 

Every category has the kind of man it attracts, you can’t be 1/2 yard and want a man that fits 10 yards, No you have to step up your game!!

Make yourself A Princess worthy of a Prince

This is a sequel to my post I LOVE HIM DOES HE LOVE GOD

 

ROck on

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About cknaija

cknaija@twitter.com
This entry was posted in Reflection, Relationship. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to You can’t be less than a yard material and be looking for more than a yard partner

  1. Oluchi says:

    Wow, really nice, food for thot

  2. bissy says:

    Overmakesense!

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